Bound Page 9

  Fay looked up at him as she said this, and he turned away from her calm, steady gaze. She felt a small thrill of victory when he did. "I'll admit, it would probably be easier to take a partner. It would certainly make everyone else more comfortable around me, but if I do that without accomplishing something myself, I think I'll always wonder if I could have. I might always regret not proving myself." She paused for a minute and found her eyes again strangely drawn to Tavis as she added, "Besides, I can't say that I've ever found anyone I would seriously consider as a partner until now."

  Eliar had also been looking at Tavis when she said that, but then he turned back to her, an eyebrow raised. "Until now?" She blushed but didn't know how to reply regarding something she hadn't really been aware of herself. She wondered if she could really be contemplating that with Tavis, who she barely knew. After a moment, Eliar nodded thoughtfully and patted her arm. "Go back to sleep. I'll be doing the same."

  He stood slowly, joints creaking and went to the door. She saw him seal it and then cast a ward that wove into the very walls of the house. She lay down on the bed, thinking sleep would never come but then he started to hum again and she did sleep, dreamlessly this time.

  When her eyes opened again, early morning light was streaming through the windows of the cottage. As she climbed out of the bed and stretched, she realized that she was alone in the house. A quick check showed Tavis' bags still in the corner with hers. She ran her fingers through her hair, working out the night's tangles as she considered where the two men might have gone. Before she could think of anything though, the door opened and Eliar came in with a bucket of water in one hand.

  "Oh good, you're awake finally. Want a cup of tea?"

  "Sure. Is Tavis out there?"

  "No, I sent him off to Harkol when we got up. He's got a note for the innkeeper, and I told him not to take no for an answer." Seeing her confusion, he said, "I'm going to borrow the cart that some idiot left behind when he couldn't pay his bill at the inn, and a horse too. I'm getting a bit old for riding all the way to Rianza."

  She smiled at this and watched him make tea for both of them, then put out a loaf of bread and a jar of preserves. As she helped herself to both, Eliar asked her, "When you told me yesterday what happened in Voleno, you mentioned that Brinds was yelling something but you didn't say what. I didn't get a chance to ask you about that. Do you remember any of what he said?"

  She chewed on her breakfast as she considered this. "It didn't make any sense." She closed her eyes and concentrated. The words came back to her and her eyes popped open. "He started out talking about some man making a move and said he knew my father would make trouble. He asked Professor Ganson about a plan to get 'her' away if they needed to. He was talking about me, I think."

  Eliar's face was a little pale as he listened to her. After a short silence he said, "Yes, he was. I think I mentioned to you that Brinds was an Investigator. His purpose in Voleno, aside from the necessity of being near his partner, was to keep an eye out for anyone or anything that might be trying to get to you. Your father has had plans for you that are possibly dangerous, if what little we know is true, and I don't think that anything has ever dissuaded him from them. To be honest, I believe it's a risk just taking you back into Rianza, but I can't see any better option, and there's someone I think you need to meet."

  "Is my father really that dangerous?" she asked, surprised.

  "I'm not sure," Eliar said with a sigh. "But you shouldn't trust him at all until we know what's going on. There's too much that I'm uncertain about right now for me to say anything more."

  As they were clearing up from breakfast, Fay asked, "Last night, you mentioned your own partner. I-" She stood at the table with her back to him, hesitating. She knew that she was about to breach etiquette badly, but needed to ask her question of someone. "I guess that she's passed now, but I was hoping you could tell me what it's like, being bound to another Magicia."

  He was silent for so long that she started berating herself for opening up what was very likely a painful subject for him. When she turned to face him though, his expression was a mix of sadness and surprise. "Has no one ever told you about it before? Your father, or mother? Samell?"

  She looked down, surprised at the awkwardness of his question for her. "My mother died when I was very young, and my father has refused to speak of her since in any way. At the Voleno Academy, they didn't teach me about bound magic, since I didn't have a partner to learn it with. And I didn't think- I had never really thought about Professor Ganson having a partner until that last night. He never talked about Brinds at all, and I certainly hadn't seen them together before then, so it seemed like he didn't have one sometimes, even though I guess I knew better, given the professor's age."

  By the time she finished, her voice was very faint. Eliar came over and put an arm around her shoulders, but she remained very still, struggling not to cry anymore. She was tired of crying. Finally, he started speaking. "The moment the bond forms is a very emotionally charged experience. I don't think you're ever closer to your partner than during that moment, perhaps because it's when you have chosen them over all others. The bond links you in such a deep way that you're totally open to each other. When I bonded with Evala, I could hear her thoughts, feel her feelings as if they were my own for the first few minutes. It was a bit disconcerting, to tell you the truth. I learned that men and women think a little differently." He chuckled. "After that, it fades a little, but you're always aware of them, where they are mostly. A bit like having an extra limb. You know without needing to look or see. You're also aware of their emotions, though the degree varies with the strength of the bond you form, something that I will warn you has nothing to do with magical ability.

  "When you actually do magic together, weave a spellwork that requires both of you working in concert, things change, your mind changes. You have to function as a single mind, and you do. I can't really describe that. Words have never, to my mind, captured the full depth and texture of that experience. But it is a wonderful experience, if a very intimate one. I believe that may be why the bond so often results in a romantic relationship later, if it wasn't there before the bond. It's hard to resist that level of intimacy, or to love someone that you don't share it with, once you've experienced it. You won't know anyone else in your life as well as you know your partner, if you ever choose one, Faylanna."

  They walked out into the morning sun, which turned the river into a strip of gold across the meadow, and they were each quietly caught up in their own thoughts. After a while, Eliar said, "I have to say, I admire your courage. Going against every expectation in our society, going after what you want and waiting. That takes real fortitude, my dear."

  She smiled, despite her guilty feeling at all she hadn't told him. "Professor Ganson said something a lot like that on the rare occasions when the subject came up."

  "Well he would. I think he regretted choosing Dal. They were very different men, which always makes it harder to work together the way you have to as partners."

  Fay shrugged but thought of the bitterness she'd heard in Ganson's voice that last night as he'd condemned the pressure on students to choose early. As she was considering this, she heard hoof beats and turned. Tavis was driving a cart up the road they had followed only the day before, Swift in the traces. He pulled the cart to a stop near them, and smiled at Fay before turning to Eliar. "I got the cart, but Drin wouldn't let me borrow a horse. He said I didn't need another one."

  Eliar grunted at that and went back toward the cottage. Tavis swung down from the driver's bench on the cart and turned to Fay. His eyes caught hers, and the smile still on his face broadened into the one she was coming to like so much. He started to speak, then stopped and just went on smiling at her as if seeing her was enough. The thought made her face heat up. Confused, she turned back to the cottage and saw Eliar, standing by the door, watching them. His expression was thoughtful before he opened the door and ducked inside. She turned to follow
him, but Tavis called after her, "Wait, Fay, could I talk to you for a minute?"

  She turned back and waited. Tavis stopped a few paces away and she realized he wasn't smiling anymore. His face was serious again, the slight frown back, drawing his brows together as he looked at the ground. He didn't speak for several moments, and she sensed that he was trying to find the right words. "I want to apologize for my behavior last night. I've already apologized to Eliar, a little. I'm not sure I feel all that bad for getting mad at him, but I- I've struggled with my temper for years, something I figure I inherited from my father, and I shouldn't have lost it like that yesterday. I'm sorry."

  She was surprised by his words. "You don't have anything to apologize for. You've been nothing but nice to me."

  His smile crept back at that, then he looked up and into her eyes, his own wide, and asked, "Did you mean what you said about helping me get into the academy? Will they even take me at my age?"

  She was almost distracted by his eyes, but his words made her laugh. "Why do you think I wanted to know where you would be staying in Rianza? And if we can get them to test you, to see how strong you are, they'll want you there. Believe me, they will."

  His expression turned skeptical. "I can't be that strong, Fay. I don't know anything but what you taught me, and a bit about slinging rocks. And giant cats now, I guess."

  "I know what I'm talking about, Tavis. Trust me. I felt it when I was teaching you. No one else I've met comes close." She looked over her shoulder at the open door. "Come on. We have to get ready. Eliar will probably want to leave any time now."

  They went into the cottage and found Eliar packing furiously, but Fay noticed that the bag he was putting it all in had been nearly empty when they entered. She wondered if he had been eavesdropping on their conversation. She took her own two bags and went out to Rain. While she saddled him and tied her bags securely to the saddle, Tavis brought his and Eliar's packs out and put them in the back of the cart beside the saddle for Swift, making sure it was all secure. She saw in his quick, sure movements that he really had been a farmer before. Even Swift, the dainty mare, stood in the cart's harness without showing any sign that this was unusual to her.

  Eliar came out of the cottage, closed the door and sealed it, casting a ward around the house as he had done the previous night after their talk. Tavis had already climbed onto the driver's bench, but Eliar walked to the cart and waved his hands for Tavis to move over. He frowned but slid over, still holding the reins. Once Eliar had settled himself, he snatched them from Tavis and flicked them with a light motion, causing Swift to start forward. As Eliar guided her around to the road that led back to the highway, Fay saw him speaking to Tavis, whose frown deepened with every word. She was too far away to hear what was being said without using magic, and she couldn't bring herself to commit such an enormous breach in the normal etiquette between Magicia. She mounted quickly and began to follow the cart. Her eyes kept darting around the road, watching in case the vygazza came back, but even the sense of strangeness that had alerted her to its presence before seemed to be fading. Still, she breathed a small sigh of relief when they made it to the highway by mid-morning.

  Chapter 8

  It was a long day for Fay, longer than any since meeting Tavis. The two men sat together in the cart, speaking in low voices as she let Rain follow them on his own. Eliar seemed to do most of the talking, and whatever he was saying, it clearly startled Tavis on more than one occasion. She was sure they talked about her for a while, because Tavis looked over his shoulder at her once with wide eyes before Eliar elbowed him sharply in the ribs, eliciting a glare from Tavis. She was so used to being left out and whispered about that it didn't bother her, but she felt a nagging worry. What was Eliar telling Tavis that shocked him so much? The thought of him explaining to Tavis about her father and all those things that had been hinted to her about her father's plans made her nervous. What if Tavis decided she was like her father, she wondered, surprised by how much the idea bothered her. By the time they stopped for the evening, she was tired, irritable and a little lonely.

  She let her thoughts wander through dinner as the two men continued catching up. It sounded as if they hadn't gotten much into the past during the day's ride and it made her wonder again what they had been talking about. After a while, Eliar began teaching Tavis more of magic, elementary skills she had mastered as a child. Watching them caused a small twinge in her heart that she refused to name jealousy. She told herself that it was only right for Eliar to teach Tavis, since they were family. So why did she find herself wishing it was just the two of them, with her sitting at Tavis' side, she wondered. After a while, they both sat back and Fay assumed the lesson was finished. She wasn't really paying attention when Eliar asked Tavis a question, but his answer penetrated her drifting thoughts.

  "Growing up with my mother? It was, I don't know. We didn't see many other people at our farm. No one around Shev really liked my father, so they stayed away. I didn't get to play with the other children. It was really just the three of us at the farm, so I don't have much to compare it with. I remember him smelling funny a lot of the time when I was little, but I didn't understand at the time that it was the drinking. I think Mother tried to shield me from it as much as she could, but I know it's why we were so poor. He spent all of our money on whiskey, beer, anything he could get his hands on." Fay turned to watch Tavis' face as he told of his childhood. He looked sad, but then his face lit up as he went on. "My favorite part of every day was after nightfall, when Father had either fallen asleep or passed out. Mother would sneak us into the main room of the little house and show me magic. It was usually something pretty, and she never taught me how to do it, but it was like she wanted it to be part of my life. Later, she started teaching me how to read. She made me swear not to say anything to Father, told me it was our secret. It wasn't until she left that I understood why we were doing it at night, why Father could never know.

  "In the day, she would do things around the farm or the house. She always did them by hand, though I was sure even then that she could have done them so much easier by magic. I didn't realize until after she left how much my father hated magic, but I think now that it's why she never used any when he might see." He paused, glancing up from their fire at Eliar, took a deep breath, and went on. "I think that she and my father had a fight the day she left. I know they had been fighting a lot that last year or so. She wouldn't argue with him when I was around, so I don't know for sure what was going on, but I got the sense that she wanted something and he kept refusing her. It must have been important to her, because it was obvious that she kept asking about it. I- I've never been sure, but I think it had to do with me.

  "I was nine when she left, and he had started sending me to work in our two fields by then. He kept saying that it was time for me to earn my keep, not spend time learning useless skills I'd never need. He'd always say it when Mother was around, I remember that. The day she left... That day, I went to plant the east field in the morning, and when I got back, Father was more drunk than I'd ever seen him. When I came in, he started yelling at me, saying terrible things, about me and about Mother. I don't remember his exact words, just that he blamed us both for everything that had gone wrong in his life. I remember being afraid of him, thinking that he was going to hit me again. Then he told me my mother had run away. He yelled for a while about that, saying she thought she was too good for him, that it was my fault she left. He had a jug in his hand the whole time, drinking out of it, and when it was empty, he threw it at me. He was too drunk to aim, so it missed me by a long way, but... I think that was when I realized he hated me, and I've never understood why. He's dead now, so I guess I never will."

  Fay didn't speak, but she guessed that Lydia had been trying to send Tavis to an academy. She doubted Lydia would have missed her son's potential and the timing of the request was right, but she didn't understand why his mother hadn't just taken him with her when she left. She pushed these thoughts a
side though, realizing that Tavis was on the verge of tears. She glanced over at Eliar, who looked sad, yet interested. When she saw him open his mouth, probably to ask Tavis a question, she quickly asked one of her own, trying to buy Tavis enough time to collect himself.

  "Eliar, do you ever regret how things fell out between you and Lydia? Or wish you had handled things differently with her?" She saw Tavis look up at her in surprise but kept her eyes fixed on Eliar. She was surprised by his reaction to her question, a mix of old pain and new hope. It went oddly with the words he spoke.

  "Regret is perhaps the most pointless emotion of all, Faylanna. You can't change the past, no matter what you do. I can't live in the past, wishing I had done things differently, and I'm old enough to know better than to try. Certainly regrets happen, but I try not to get caught up in them. It's the future that we must always look to, in the hope that next time we will make the better choice."

  No one said anything after that. They all turned in for the night after Eliar cast a ward around them that would wake him if anything larger than a rabbit got close. When Fay woke up in the morning, Eliar was awake already, and she was beginning to wonder if he ever really slept. Tavis was already packing up his bedroll. As they were eating breakfast, the two men exchanged a glance, and then Eliar turned to Fay.

  "I think Tavis is going to have to ride Rain today, and you're going to be in the bed of the cart. Do you think Rain will let him?"

  She was nonplused by this statement. "Why wouldn't I be riding my horse?"