Bound Page 5

  He shook his head. "Didn’t get off the farm much, remember? So what are you doing here?"

  "Well, that’s where I was born and grew up, but I just graduated from the Voleno Academy."

  "So you're heading back home, then? I mean, Avene is on the Imperial Highway to Rianza."

  "Uh, no. I'm going to see a friend of my mentor. He lives near Rianza, on this side though. I need to ask him something, need his help really. I might end up studying with him for a while, before deciding where to go next." She was skirting the truth in a little, but hadn't really lied. Even so, she felt a strange desire to keep going, to tell him more, including the things she had just purposely left out or been vague about. What is going on with me today, she wondered. Maybe it was just a reaction to what had happened at the academy, the close brush with that awful darkness making her want someone to know her, now that she was so alone in the world. Again, the thought occurred to her that there was something more to this, but then he distracted her.

  "Graduated and still studying? I guess you're aiming to know everything," he said with a laugh.

  "There's always more to learn in the world. My mentor used to say that you stop learning when you stop living."

  Tavis nodded, still smiling. "That sounds like a decent philosophy."

  Fay cocked her head at him and raised an eyebrow. "You know, you don't sound like any farmer I've ever talked to."

  The smile slid from his face and he looked embarrassed. "My mother wasn't from Shev. I guess I just picked some of it up from her."

  Starting to feel a little desperate to get off the subject of her own life before she said too much or her reawakened grief could overwhelm her, she asked, "Why did your mother leave?"

  She regretted her words immediately. He frowned again, and didn't meet her eyes. He sounded reluctant as he said, "I was young, and wasn’t there when she left, so I- I guess I don’t really know. My father took it badly though."

  Fay looked at him, considered the cup that he had brought out with him, and was suddenly sure it contained only water. She wanted to drop the subject, seeing how little he wanted to discuss it, but found that she couldn’t for some reason. She said softly, "He drank. When she left, I mean."

  Tavis' eyes rose to hers, shocked and then his expression became uncomfortable. He looked away and stared out into the night. She almost thought he wasn’t going to say anything more, but then he did, the words coming out in bunches, full of resistance that didn't quite stop him. "Um, not exactly. He always drank, as far back as I can remember, but he started doing it all day, every day when she left. Didn't take long before he couldn't do anything around the farm anymore, about a year, so I kind of took over. It was either that or starve. It wasn't like we had money or any family to help us."

  She took in the edge of bitterness in his tone, the hard look that she could see in his profile. "How old were you?"

  His eyes studied his cup intently. "When my mother left? Nine."

  "How long has it been?" she asked, hardly able to say the words, though she felt compelled to ask. The thought of a ten year old taking on his whole farm made her sad.

  "Eleven years."

  She was pleased to find he was only a year older than her, but the sad look on his face made her want to reach out and put a hand to his cheek. What am I thinking, she asked herself in surprise. She never did things like that. But she couldn’t deny how much she wanted to make him feel better after refusing to let such an obviously painful subject drop. "Maybe she left because of his drinking?"

  "I... don't know. My father used to say-" he stopped and took a drink. "It was just drunken ranting, really. Forget I said anything, please."

  Fay understood what he couldn't bring himself to say out loud. She reached out and laid her fingers delicately on his forearm. The warmth of his skin under her hand almost distracted her from what she wanted to tell him. "I'm sure it couldn't have been your fault. It was probably easier to blame you than himself."

  He turned to meet her gaze, and she saw how much he wanted to believe her. They sat there with their eyes locked for a few moments before he spoke, his voice soft and thoughtful. "Maybe you're right. I don't know."

  She thought about what he had said, and the words he had used caught her attention. "He's passed now, isn't he? Your father, I mean."

  Tavis nodded and again, she saw him hesitate before answering. "He got sick a few months ago and I guess all that drinking took a toll. It didn't last long, at least. I suppose I should be grateful. I’m free of him now, to do what I want, to be who I need to be. I sold the farm a few days ago. Couldn't stand the idea of staying." He paused for a moment and shook his head, scowling. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Can we talk about something else? What about this mentor of yours? I guess that he's in Voleno. Do you miss him?"

  His casual comment nearly made her cry. Dropping her gaze to her lap, she struggled to hold it back, not wanting to make him feel as bad about this as she did about her own questions. "I do miss him. But he- he's gone."

  "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

  She waved a hand without looking up, wanting to show him she was all right, even though she wasn't. She just couldn't stand the concern and distress in his voice. It somehow made her feel worse still.

  Several minutes of silence passed as she tried to collect herself. Eventually he cleared his throat and said, "Fay, I was thinking. You know, we could travel together, at least until you need to turn off the highway. It would be safer for you that way, a woman traveling alone. I mean, I know you're a Magicia, but I just can't let you go off alone without offering, especially since we're going the same way."

  She hesitated, the confusing rush of joy caused by his suggestion making it difficult to think the offer through. She was used to doing things alone, so she didn't understand why the idea of company was so thrilling to her. It might be safer for her, but she knew traveling with Tavis could put him at risk. She wasn’t even sure what danger she might be in, and what she would be exposing him to. That thought almost made her decline at once, but a practical consideration occurred to her. If she wasn't traveling alone, she might feel safe enough to sleep, and then she would be better able to sort out whatever she was suddenly in the middle of. She hadn't forgotten Brinds' words when he had barged in.

  More than any of these factors though, she found she enjoyed talking with Tavis more than she remembered with anyone else she'd ever met. Maybe it's his unassuming manner, she thought. She realized that it might also make the grief in her heart bearable to have Tavis with her, even for a while, rather than being left alone with it. That idea pushed her to a decision. She nodded. "I'd like that, but I was planning to leave first thing in the morning, you know. I need to get to Harkol right away."

  He smiled more broadly this time and again she responded in kind without thinking about it. "Well then, I guess it's a good thing I kept my horse from the farm. That should help me to keep up, unless you're walking there."

  She surprised herself by laughing. "That would definitely take too long. We'll have to see if your horse can keep up with mine."

  He laughed with her, but there was something in his eyes, a spark that she didn't quite understand. He reached out placed his hand on hers. "In the morning then. I think I'll go to bed now, if we're leaving so very early. Will dawn be early enough for you?"

  It occurred to her that farmers often woke very early in the morning, so that would likely be easier for him than her. His light sarcasm acted like a challenge though and she raised her chin, trying to project a confidence she didn't feel. "I'll head off myself, I think. Traveling is better with a good night's rest."

  They turned back to the door, going inside and up the stairs together without speaking. They walked down the hall, Fay wondering at each door whether he would stop. His room turned out to be the one directly across the hall from hers. That made them both laugh as they ducked into their separate rooms. After closing the door behind her, she leaned back against it, smi
ling for a moment. She felt an odd mix of guilt and pleasure at his offer and her acceptance. Shaking her head, she took off her boots and climbed into bed.

  She dreamed that night of the blond man with the curls again. This time, as he embraced her, he whispered into her ear, "My sweet Faylanna, at last."

  Chapter 5

  The faint light from the window woke Fay only a moment before a soft knock sounded on her door. She felt disoriented and groggy. She knew she had left the curtain open for a reason, but couldn't remember why until she heard Tavis' voice call softly through the door.

  "Are you awake in there, Fay? It's dawn."

  Stupid and stubborn, she cursed herself as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She had known agreeing to leave at dawn had been a bad idea, but had refused to admit it. Now she was going to pay for that. "Yes, just give me a few minutes. I'll meet you in the stable yard."

  She heard a soft chuckle as she scrambled out of bed and grabbed a boot. It took most of her self-control to keep from launching it at the door. She heard his footsteps going down the hall and cursed again at her own foolishness. She pulled her boots back on and quickly smoothed down her tunic and skirt. Her fingers found the shape of the pendant in her pocket and she stopped. She fished it out and looked at the double-ribbon in the palm of her hand. Again, she felt that sense of familiarity, this time accompanied by the strange idea that she'd worn it once before and should do so again. It really is pretty, she thought, and such a shame to leave it in my pocket. When part of her tried to suggest that it was dangerous, the rest of her pointed out that nothing had happened in the two days she'd had it with her. Deciding that settled the matter, she dropped the chain over her head and settled the pendant under her shirt so that it wouldn't bounce around while they were riding. Combing her fingers through her hair, she looked around to make sure she had everything and grabbed her two bags, trying to hurry quietly down the stairs.

  By the time she reached the stable yard, Tavis was already there, holding the reins to both Rain and a sleek gray mare with a silver mane and tail. The mare looked small next to Rain, but light and fast. She remembered the look in his eyes when she had talked about him keeping up and thought she understood it now. This horse must have been his prized possession on the farm. She walked over to the stallion, tied her bags securely to the saddle and took the reins from Tavis.

  Behind her, she heard Lelanne call to him, and he waved. When Fay turned, the innkeeper was hurrying over with a pair of fresh rolled pastries in her hands. Fay's stomach rumbled as she accepted one with thanks. When she reached for her money pouch, Lelanne shook her head, saying it was taken care of before hurrying back to the inn's kitchen. Fay looked over at Tavis who was managing to grin while eating his own pastry. She stubbornly said nothing but took a bite of her breakfast. It was fresh from the oven, still piping hot and nearly burned her tongue. The warm cheese and herbs inside were delicious though and she couldn't make herself wait for it to cool down. As soon as she had finished licking the last flakes from her fingers, she swung up into the saddle and looked at Tavis with an eyebrow raised. He was still grinning as he mounted his own horse. Neither of them spoke for most of the morning. Fay was tempted to several times, but every time she turned to him, riding right next to her, she saw the same self-satisfied grin and kept quiet. Eventually, her curiosity became impossible to suppress.

  "Why are you going to Rianza? Are you hoping to find work there that doesn't involve being up at dawn?" she asked teasingly.

  He was silent for so long that she knew his answer before he spoke. "I'm going to see if I can find my mother."

  "Why Rianza? Is that where she went when she left?"

  He shrugged. "I don't know. My father wasn't one to talk about her willingly, and I haven't heard from her since she left. I don't even know where she was from. She never talked about it when I was little. Rianza just seemed like a good place to start. It's big, and close enough that I can start looking right away. If I don't find any sign of her there, then I'm not sure where to look. I'll think of something though, if it comes to that."

  Fay considered this for a minute. "Maybe I can help point you in the right direction, give you some people to start with. I spent a lot of my childhood in Rianza, and I started out at that academy. I'll give you some names of people to talk to before we part company. I'm not even sure if they're still in Rianza, but at least a few of them probably are. They might be able to help or at least get you started." She paused before going on, "Have you thought about what you'll say to her if you find her?"

  Tavis shook his head. "I'm not really even sure why I'm trying to find her. I guess I just want to see her, show her... I don't know. Maybe just let her know that Nevon's dead, though I'm not sure she'd care about that."

  They both let the silence lengthen and the day moved on. Near dusk, they found a spot that looked like it saw regular use as a campsite and agreed it was a good place to stop for the night. Tavis took care of the horses while she gathered wood from the forest around them. After a while, he dropped her bags next to her and took his own to the other side of the pit while she arranged the kindling in preparation for the fire.

  "Fay, what's it like at an academy?" he asked hesitantly. "I don't know if you're supposed to talk about it or not, but I'm kind of curious."

  She shrugged. "It's a school, just like regular ones I would guess, except of course you get to study magic. But like I said before, you have to study other subjects too." She saw his disappointment with her answer and tried again, pushing aside her discomfort with the subject. "I've been to two of the four now, the ones in Rianza and Voleno. I can only tell you about those."

  He leaned forward, nodding for her to go on.

  "Both are housed in large castles. Actually, I think all four are. There are a lot of rooms for students in each and those in their final year get their own room, while the younger students are housed in larger more dorm-like rooms. There's usually about six or eight sharing a small hall, really, depending on which school they're at. For the first few years, it was like going on a fabulous long vacation, because you go home for the summer."

  She found herself smiling as she continued, "The main libraries in both schools are amazing, more books than I could imagine reading in a lifetime, and on so many subjects. That was probably my favorite place in the whole school at Voleno, other than Professor Ganson's study."

  "That's your mentor?" Tavis asked.

  She nodded, but felt the smile start to slide from her face. She forced it back on and continued in order to distract herself. "Most of the teachers I had were nice, encouraging and helpful, as you might imagine. They were always willing to answer questions or give you a little extra explanation when you needed it. Also, sometimes you get to go on trips to visit the other academies. There are inter-academy activities every year." Not that she'd ever gotten to go, because they were for bound Magicia, but she wasn't going to explain that to him. He might ask her about the bond and she didn't want to try to explain it, or her situation.

  He stared into the distance for a while, a wistful expression on his face. She wondered about that. She knew that some children who didn't have magic envied those who did, but Tavis was too old and seemed too practical for that. After a moment, he shook his head and said, "Aren't you going to grab your flint?"

  She smiled, thinking he was making a joke. When she realized he was serious, she started laughing, unable to help herself. At first, he looked confused and a little angry about being laughed at. Then it seemed to slowly dawn on him what she was laughing about and he joined her. It was several minutes before they stopped, both panting for breath.

  "Well, if there had been any doubt in my mind before that you didn't grow up around Magicia, I'm sure now," she said between gasps.

  "Yeah, stupid question," he said, still grinning broadly. Then he grew serious. "Fay, do Magicia ever teach people who didn't get to go to an academy? I mean, even just basic things. Or is that not allowed?"

  S
he raised an eyebrow at him quizzically. "It's not forbidden. I've just never heard of it happening. The Council Magicia tries to ensure that everyone who has the ability to do magic is given the opportunity to attend one of the academies, no matter what their background. And I can't imagine anyone turning them down. Why? Do you know someone who...?"

  She trailed off and waited for him to say something, not sure if she wanted her sudden hunch to be right or wrong, though she admitted to herself it would explain some things at least as much as it complicated others for her. He looked uncomfortable, as if he thought he had said too much. Finally, staring again at his hands in his lap, he mumbled, "I- I can do magic. Nothing much, really, because I didn't get to learn anything from my mother before she left. I was hoping- I wondered if you could teach me... something."

  Her own shock surprised her. Her hunch had been right, though she still found herself grappling with the implications. It didn't make sense to her though. She couldn't imagine choosing to bond with someone her own age who knew nothing of magic. And yet she couldn't ignore the way she was drawn to him, more than anyone she'd ever met. Was that why he had asked to travel with her, because he felt the same reaction to her? She shook her head at the idea. When she looked up, Tavis was crestfallen, his face a picture of embarrassment and misery. It took her a moment to realize that he had misinterpreted the gesture as a refusal. She thought about it for a moment and decided to check her theory. "Is that why you asked to come with me?"

  He looked up at her, his green eyes dark in the failing light, and shook his head with a frown. "No, that's not why. It's-" He stopped, and then said something else. "I didn't think you'd be allowed to, but I had to ask. I just- Never mind."

  Fay wasn't really listening as her thoughts spun in her head. No, she thought to herself, no, I would never choose to bond with him, but maybe I could teach him something, to get a feel for whether I should encourage him to ask for training from the academy in Rianza when he gets there. It's what Ganson would do, what he'd encourage me to do if he were- She cut that thought off and returned to her original idea. If his magical abilities were weak, she would tell him not to worry about it, since he would never find a partner once he finished his schooling, even if they let him in at his age. When she realized what she had just thought, she grew angry with herself. She told herself that it shouldn't matter if he'd find a partner, that he should have the opportunity to learn as she had. That decided her. "Yes, certainly, I can do that. Come sit beside me. It will make it easier."